Keep Moving Forward (Bipolar Warrior)

The following is an excerpt from the book Faith of a Bipolar Christian, written by Dawit Baek.

Keep Moving Forward

There were two main sources which I got the phrase “keep moving forward” from. One is from Martin Luther King and the other is from the movie Rocky by Sylvester Stallone. Both figures emphasize that we should move forward no matter the circumstance or difficulty. In the movie Rocky, Rocky states this point by saying that no matter how many times we get hit, we must keep moving forward. Martin Luther King portrays this message through a picturesque metaphor: whether you fly, run, walk or crawl, you should keep moving forward.

I took this message to heart and consider it one of the most influential phrases I recite to myself in times of trouble. I reiterate this in my song’s chorus. I explain that whether it is an inch, foot, yard, mile or race, we must continuously make strides in our purpose or goals. I explain that if you don’t have a purpose or goal, any direction is viable for if you keep making progress in such direction, there will be results and experience that comes with it.

This song is actually one of my most appreciated works for it is both relatable and inspirational. I talk further about my mental health and the mindset I had to have in order to overcome the hardships that came with it.

As the chorus goes:

One inch one foot, you keep moving forward

Three yards four yards, you keep moving forward

One mile two miles, you keep moving forward

One race two races, you keep moving forward

Everybody lives one life on this earth, or that is what I believe

I believe we all should live the good life:

good family, good work, good friendship, good food, good memories, good fun

I start out with an introduction indicating that all people have one chance to live their lives. Instead of focusing on the negatives and struggles, I wanted to emphasize that we should consider and aim towards the more positive: the good in life.

It’s only been a few months since I tried to jump off cliffs

Last time I fell backwards and my target I missed

I lived a life time: some in good, some in bliss

Often times I was furious, I was utterly pissed

In 2019 when I had relapsed again, I was in a total mess. I had no control over myself and I was scaring my own family. I even made my brother get a panic attack… I remember impulsively trying to jump off out of my bedroom which was on the 11th floor. Yet my brother grabbed the end of my clothes to pull me back, making me land backwards. These were times that were dark for not only me, but especially my family. I was full of anger towards previous enemies and this caused me to relapse.

My past was full of baggage I could fill a pickup truck

So many times I felt like I was out of luck

So many times I felt like I was lost and stuck

Yet there were so many people, who pulled me back up

I have been bullied, I have been neglected, I’ve been called names, I’ve had false rumors revolving my name. I’ve experienced utter despair from depression and traumatic experiences in the hospital when I was manic. Many times I asked myself, ‘Why does this have to happen to me?’ ‘Did I do something wrong to anger God enough to make Him put me through all of this?’ Nevertheless, God provided friends and family to support me and be by my side, time after time.

My life could’ve been better but these thorns on roses

The thorns make me reminisce on the times I was more hopeless

Yet they made me realize that I needed new focus

To rise again and write lines, with a pen and purpose

I go back to the metaphor I used in my song “Rain”: thorns on roses. These thorns signified my most hopeless and difficult times in my life, in whatever mental state I was in. Yet this is what gave me the drive to write rap lyrics. This is what made me more eager to write a book like this one!

With a new purpose, I have more willingness to live

Willing to live to see if there’s hope I can give

Hope to those struggling in whatever way

Hope that they can use to win any day

One of my missions I have set for myself is to help people with mood disorders overcome their fears and move forward. I would like to instill hope in them and I believe writing lyrics regarding my bipolar experiences could help them. I have been into motivation (books, coaching, videos, mentors) for a great portion of my life. Therefore, I want to give back by providing inspiration by being a coach.

Chorus

One inch one foot, you keep moving forward

Three yards four yards, you keep moving forward

One mile two miles, you keep moving forward

One race two races, you keep moving forward

I used the measurements that I was used to, that of which was used in the States. Therefore, I used inch, foot, yard and mile as my way to measure distances. Sometimes you can feel like you’re crawling as you move inch by inch. That leads to further distances like a foot or a yard. Soon enough, you’ll gain momentum, realizing that you have already reached a mile. Miles add up to each other and can become the distance of a marathon race. Whatever speed or distance, we must keep moving forward.

Fall down get up, you keep moving forward

Not happy with the present? You keep moving forward

Need more gains? You keep moving forward

Whatever you do, you must keep moving forward

No matter how many times you fall, no matter the heaviness of the rain, no matter the pain and agony, we must keep moving forward. We may not be content with the situation or state we are in currently. Yet, press on. Need improvement? Press on. In whatever we are doing, in whichever direction you are going, keep-moving-forward.

Hospital was tough, it was really rough

The meds rewired my brain, so it got messed up

Cognition down the drain as I get roughed up

In the midst of all of this I start to throw up

I will explain about the specifics of my hospital experiences in my song “Trapped”, where I talk about the dread I had to go through in such hazardous places. My medication I was taking, which included mood stabilizers and antipsychotics, had an effect in my brain to the point in which it made me malfunction. I mentioned throwing up because I would literally throw up liters of green vomit because the medication I was taking was too toxic at a mental hospital.

It’s okay I tell myself as I close my eyes

I tell myself again, “Rise, rise, rise”

Yet at the same time, I cry, cry, cry

Yet at the same time, I ask “Why, oh, why?”

I would close my eyes, trying to find solace from God or on my own. Whenever I am in a disabled state, I like to repeat to myself “Rise”. There were times in the hospital I was trapped in where I would be screaming, cursing and crying because of the pain I was feeling and the discrimination I was receiving. Why was this happening to me?

How can I die oh die, I realize how hard

How hard it is to, jump off that far

To land on a car and go to the next life

Or basically do the same thing with a sharp knife

There were times when I was a senior in high school I would plan my suicide by means of using carbon monoxide to suffocate myself. During a recent incident, I wanted to go on a suicidal mission. Whatever method I was planning on using, it wasn’t easy to muster up courage to follow through, whether it was jumping off a building or cutting myself so I would bleed to death.

I mentioned in previous songs my enemies

What stance do they currently have on me?

They’ve made me like reassembled broken pottery

My cracks are filled with gold now, I hit a lottery

I had quite a number of enemies in the past, both in high school and university. Honestly I wrote songs in which I expressed getting revenge on them. Yet in the end I tell myself the cliché yet very impressive saying, “What does not kill me makes me stronger”. I was hurt and furious at times, but in such experiences I became stronger, wiser, humble and better able to control my emotions. “Kintsugi” is a form of purposely broken pottery which are reassembled with gold within the cracks. I felt broken through some experiences, yet it made me more valuable.

Whatever you do, keep moving forward

A more positive light I hope your moving toward

No matter what you’ve been through, no matter the agony

Push through and make it to your favored reality

When I say “whatever you do”, I mean go on in any path. What I mean by this is that we don’t always get to find out what our exact path should be is. Sometimes we just have to try different things out and from there we get valuable experiences and insights. No matter how hard it is, keep going towards a certain direction and be fruitful. Through the fruits you attain, you will be a more developed person with purpose.

You have a handicap? Show who you really are

A warrior, an athlete, an artist who’ll go far

One to enjoy the good life and surpass the norm

Carrying dreams like a running back with perfected form

I believe everybody has some sort of handicap. It can be a dysfunctional family, cancer, poor economic situation, self-esteem issues, physical disability etc. Despite our handicaps, we must overcome them. We must keep our hopes up by developing an identity that can be brought about by purposes or directions we choose. We should aim for the best life for ourselves and be an outlier while at it. We should carry our dreams as if a (American) football running back carries his football in an optimal way.

Chorus

One inch one foot, you keep moving forward

Three yards four yards, you keep moving forward

One mile two miles, you keep moving forward

One race two races, you keep moving forward

Fall down get up, you keep moving forward

Not happy with the present? You keep moving forward

Need more gains? You keep moving forward

Whatever you do, you must keep moving forward

Whatever obstacle you face, whoever gets in the way

Whatever jungle you’re in, no matter the price you pay

Keep living, take a whiff of that air and dare

To live the life you wanted with the purest of care

Whatever your challenge, struggle or handicap may be and whoever your enemy or naysayer who tries to put you down may be, keep moving forward. No matter how hostile your environment is and no matter how difficult the process may be, keep moving forward. Go outside and realize that you are alive: you have the capacity to breathe, so go ahead and take a few whiffs. With ample consideration, keep reflecting on yourself, maintain your composure and keep taking step by step.

I’ve come a long way so I won’t stop

I’ll say what I have to say when I hip hop

I’d still rap even if I only had flip flops

I’ll keep rapping, nothing will make my mic drop

Realizing that I have gone quite a distance, no matter what the length of it actually was, I will continue to take steps toward what I feel is especially important. Rapping is kind of like a diary for me: through making rhyme after rhyme, I leave my unconsciousness on paper. I promise myself that I will continue rapping, no matter the situation or circumstance.

Chorus

One inch one foot, you keep moving forward

Three yards four yards, you keep moving forward

One mile two miles, you keep moving forward

One race two races, you keep moving forward

Fall down get up, you keep moving forward

Not happy with the present? You keep moving forward

Need more gains? You keep moving forward

Whatever you do, you must keep moving forward